Stop right there. Hear this:

You are better than you think.

You are capable of more than you think.

Your voice and leadership is more valuable than you think.

If that’s true (and with God, it is), then act on it. You are needed.  

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So with that out of the way… Congratulations! You have a calling on your life! Whether it’s leading a multi-million dollar corporation or a team at church or even your own kids, someone is looking to you to lead them. But sometimes people get worked up over this term leader, making it out to be someone far bigger than it actually is. Don’t get me wrong. Being a leader is important, and there are certain characteristics that define a good leader, but there are some common misconceptions surrounding leadership.

The Apostle Paul pinpoints a handful of key qualities of a good leader for us in 1 Timothy 3:2. "Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…”  

But let’s go in the other direction for a bit. Take a look at what a good leader is NOT:

#1. A good leader may not be loved and admired by everyone.

Catch that emphasis. Paul says in 1 Timothy 3:2 that a leader ought to be “above reproach” and “respectable,” but he doesn’t say anything about being everyone’s favorite person. A good leader should be respected and seen as an example to follow, but even Jesus had people who despised him. Knowing that you don’t have to please everyone perfectly makes this whole leadership thing feel a tiny bit more feasible. Your sheep may not be your best friends, but when they look at you, they better see someone whose character is worthy of being followed.

#2. A good leader may not be the absolute best at what they do.

I’ve been leading in children’s ministry for over 3 years, and without any hesitation, I can adamantly say that the people I’m leading are often better teachers, more creative, more organized, etc. BUT in no way does that disqualify me from leading. Great leaders may or may not be the best, but they should be ready to teach, coach, train, and push their people to grow. It’s a humility thing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked a question and didn’t know the answer, but that’s okay! It’s always okay to say, “I’m not sure about that, but I can find out for you.” In fact, until you have some experience in your area under your belt, plan on getting really good at saying this!

#3. A good leader is not on the outside looking in.

In 2 Samuel 11, King David made a mess of his life when he stopped doing his job as a leader of the people and instead stayed home to lead from a distance. As a leader, you should be in the mix. Here’s what will happen: you’ll get to know your people. You’ll see the challenges and victories that are happening. You’ll show your people that you care for them and for what your team is doing. This is a crucial element of leading like Jesus. Have you ever thought about how often Jesus was hands-on in his ministry?

#4. A good leader is not constantly on the job.

Although you do need to serve side by side with your team members, you should not be working yourself to death. Paul calls a good leader “faithful to his wife.” Set the example for your team by leaving time for your spouse, your family, and your friends. This is a balancing act, trust me. It’s probably in my top three leadership struggles. Leadership can devour every ounce of energy you give to it if you let it. There is always someone who needs a call from you. There is always an improvement that can be made. Good leaders will recruit people to help with this. It’s called delegation, and it is essential!

As you press into leading (and I hope you will because your unique skill set is needed!), just remember that you don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be the best. You just need to set your sights on a few key qualities, and in humility, work toward learning and growing. Many people are waiting for someone to tell them that it’s time for them to lead. Well…maybe this is your sign.

 As the Director of Vineyard Kids, my role is to lead our teams in creating an environment that engages the hearts and minds of the children of The Vineyard to help them recognize their identity in Christ and realize their potential in the Kingdom.

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