"But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:14

As I look back on my journey as a follower of Christ, I have seen many ups and downs along the road. In my younger days, I didn’t think so much about the downs, but as I have grown in my faith and years, I have realized that God has been able to use the bad situations to allow me to grow spiritually and lean on Him. It has also allowed me to minister to others going through similar situations.

I found myself pulling away at times when I hit rough patches. One of the periods I remember feeling lonely and thinking no one knows what I am going through was when I had a series of miscarriages. The possibility of never being able to have children was overwhelming. I remember thinking that my husband has no idea how lonely I felt and how much my heart was breaking. I would see other couples with babies or small children and think, “why Lord would you allow me to go through so much pain? Why don’t I get to be a mom?” I felt so abandoned by God. But as I look back, it was all in His timing. He never left me on this road of life!

During this time I found myself pulling away from family and friends because they all had or were having children. To fill the void, I would dive deeper into my job, our family business and further away from Jesus. All the while this just made me feel extremely lonely. I had my husband to lean on and his love, but it wasn’t the same as the love of the Father.

Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5 and Hebrews 13:5, all say, “…He will never leave you or forsake you.” When I finally realized this, and that I could not control my every situation, I turned it all over to Jesus and let Him lead. Amazingly, we found ourselves pregnant again. This time I was afraid to tell anyone, and we kept the secret for as long as we could. Again, this caused us to be isolated and lonely when we should have been joyful.

Fast forward nine months and our son arrived! This was only overshadowed by a major life-threatening illness that almost took my life. But that was just another lonely low on the road. God had something important for my life because I’ve been able to see my son grow up…Thank you, Jesus! After a few more disappointments and miscarriages, the Lord blessed our little family with our second son! This time the Lord protected me from any illness or loneliness. God is good!  

Psalms 25:16-17 “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.”

When I am finally willing to turn over control of my life, pray and live my life for Him, Jesus is also willing to use me to the fullest. He befriends me and will never allow me to be alone when I fully lean on Him.

During all of this, we found a church closer to home that allowed me to become involved in a mom’s group and be held accountable. This group served the purpose of allowing other moms to get together and share in the joys and disappointments of motherhood. The experience also allowed me to lead and share the love of Jesus, to use the lessons learned from being lonely and share how my sorrows were turned to joy. Jesus restored me and will use me for his Glory if I allow Him to do so!

If you are going through a lonely season, God will always have your back. Cast your cares upon the Lord. Find a community of folks who can keep you accountable and become your friends (Vineyard Groups). Join a Team (Volunteer Teams). Go to Young Adults or Vineyard Students. Take a Vineyard FIT Class. Following Jesus doesn't have to be lonely. 

Nancy is the administrative assistant to Pastor Steve Huffman, Campuses and Venues, Vineyard Students, and Worship Ministries. Nancy is married to her wonderful husband Randy and together they have two awesome sons.  

Share