How do we learn to accept a love we don’t deserve?

Some of us grow up in homes fortunate enough to have parents who exemplified the kind of love that will not tear you down when you make a mistake, who will patiently shape you as you discover your own error and correction. Some know a love that will always forgive you, let you come home, no matter what you’ve done, with open arms.

Yet for many others, love and relationships have been transactional. Some have learned a solemn reality of: “As long as I am good enough, quiet enough, loud enough; if what I bring to the table is sufficient… As long as I never hurt feelings, disappoint, or if I give all that I am and have first, THEN I am sufficient to receive love and promise. THEN they are willing to give it.”

But God’s love is not like this.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” (Psalm 103:8). “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9) God defines it: “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

We can find comfort in living loved by God: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” (1 John 4:16) “…for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8).

God IS love. To be transparent, there is nothing we could actually give or do for God that would match what kind of love He is, He has to offer. His love is perfect. But God takes his time with us. He is slow to anger, kind, and compassionate. What we have instead of transactions, is a God of flawless, abundant love who is willing to hand it over, pour it on, and fill us with it – no matter what.

It’s not a standard we have to meet. God’s love takes its time, and He is working on us. He goes to great lengths to demonstrate this transforming love. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)

So how do we simply accept this love? When we feel so much less-than, how can we trust God still wants to love our brokenness?

By believing God Himself. By believing God, who declares us worthy.

By whose voice do we shift our identity? Are we made of what anyone sees? Can we trust what we say about ourselves? Are we made of our own thoughts, are we any one of our given feelings?

No. We are not any one thing at any one given time.

We are complicated, complex, spiritual beings who are declared lovable, justified children of the Almighty God. We are accepted and worthy (Psalm 139), we’re never alone (Romans 8:38-39), we’re blameless (Colossians 1:22), and we have eternal security (1 John 5:11-13). We are loved (John 3:16).

Do you believe God is who He says He is?

Do you believe that you are who God says you are?

Letting God pour His love into our life will likely result in a gratitude in which we’ve never encountered, but we have to recognize Him. There have been prayers in my day-to-day life that felt so trivial, and yet God showed up and answered in a way that was in my favor. When God reveals himself in these ways, I can’t help but think, “Wow! Why would the God of the Universe grant me such a small and useless thing?” But I realize, regrettably late, that He sees me. A great big God is seeing me in just that moment. He is letting us know in those menial encounters that He cares. 

He is not only in miracles, healing, and salvation. He is also the God of lost keys. He’s the God of chicken teriyaki. He’s the God of printer jams and bad network connections. The God of green traffic lights. They are not small things, they matter. He loves us so much that He will bring Himself down to the tiniest, mundane moment to show up to us — only us — and reveal to us, He’s there. He is Emmanuel, “God with us.” El Roi, “The God who sees me.” He chooses to bless us when we are looking to Him.

Elevation Worship’s song, Trust in God, (based on Psalm 34:4) says, 

“I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered. 

That’s why I trust Him; that’s why I trust Him.” 

He sees us, and He knows us, and He is willing to let us know. This is love! This is the love that isn’t asking us to do anything but pay attention.

When we feel less-than, ask yourself – do I trust God? Do I believe Him? Do I see Him? Am I looking?

As we seek Him, we will melt in His love as we see Him, feel Him, and love Him in return. It’s not transactional; He will continue this love through eternity, with or without us. But what else can we do for someone who loves us unconditionally – except love them back?

Hallelujah, God; thank you for this love. May we also love You well.

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