When I was younger, I remember praying for a baby brother. It didn’t take long for God to answer that prayer — thank you Mom and Dad too! —  and I got to be a big sister! I now actually have 3 younger brothers and sisters, and for those of us who call ourselves a brother or sister, I am sure you can agree that it has its challenges, but it can also be an incredibly rewarding experience. Although I will admit that being the sibling God has called me to be hasn’t been easy, I would say (and my siblings would also say) we have a great relationship!

But you may be asking: Why? Why should I care about my relationship with my brothers and sisters?

1 John 4:20 says “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”

That alone is convicting for me! So here are three steps I have found to help me be a better sibling:

#1. Give your time.

Ephesians 5:15-16,” Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…”

I get it. Life is busy. Your schedule doesn’t line up with their schedule. Maybe you live super far away from each other. Or maybe life just gets in the way. Whatever the case may be, there is always a chance to give your siblings a few minutes out of your normal schedule. It could be as simple as  sending them a text, grabbing lunch together, or even inviting them over to watch Netflix together. This doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but spending time with your siblings should be something you prioritize. One time I remember doing this well was a few years ago. I heard that one of my sisters was having a bad day, so I went into her room and just sat next to her while she cried. I began to softly encourage her and by the end of our conversation she was laughing! It only took a few minutes of being intentional to have a positive impact on her day and even the days that followed.

#2. Choose to love.

1 John 3:15-16, “Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

I have heard many stories from people who say that they hate their brother or sister. But because God has called us to love our siblings, I could never hate them. I believe God has given me, and you, His love for our siblings. Sure, sometimes I have to ask for more of that love on certain days but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. Choosing to love, no matter the circumstance has been something that has brought me closer to my siblings. When loving is hard, ask God to show you His love. Love isn’t just a feeling, it is also an action. When you don’t feel like loving your sibling, do something to show your love for them. Take them out to eat, write them a letter, or do something to show them love.

#3. Lead by example.

1 Timothy 4:12, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”

When I was five years old, I pushed my brother down the stairs. My brother was being the typical little brother; he was following me around all day and copying everything I did. We’ve all been there, right? You know how annoying that would be! When I pushed my brother, I was acting out on my emotions. All I noticed at that moment was how annoyed and angry I was. I let those emotions overcome me. However, looking back on that incident now, I realize that all my brother was doing was looking up to me. He wanted someone to follow. He wanted to learn from me and be like. I was his “big sister.” I was a role model for him to follow. But instead of giving him a good example to follow, I let my emotions get ahold of me and pushed him down the stairs. Part of being a sibling means that there is always someone else watching you, looking up to you, and wanting to be like you. Younger siblings can certainly learn from their older siblings, but the opposite is true as well. Even though all my siblings are younger than I am, I still look up to them and learn from them.

If you don’t have siblings but have made it to this point in the blog, kudos to you! Whether you have siblings or not, everyone who is a follower of Christ has brothers and sisters! God is our Father and He has adopted us as His children. Giving your time, choosing to love, and leading by example are things all of us can apply to the relationships with our brothers and sisters that God has given us by adopting us into His family.

 Brooke is the Children’s Ministry and Worship Intern here at The Vineyard. She spends most of her time assisting Andrew and Kristy to prepare for the weekends and look for ways to improve the worship experience in Kids Central and Club 54. She also helps develop worship team members and assist Leah with worship events.

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