I started writing this blog on joy and sorrow in early September. I was struck by how vital this connection truly is as I listened to many of the speakers at Charlie Kirk’s memorial service. They often shared memories of Charlie’s ease and familiarity in expressing joy.  It must have been a major source of his strength (Neh 8:10). Now when Charlie’s family and friends remember those moments, joy can help them move through the grieving process.

According to the Bible, joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22). His fruits develop in Christ followers over time in the same way a plant must first develops roots before the plant can begin producing fruit. Without healthy, strong and deep roots, a plant’s harvest is very limited even though it had great potential for fruit production.

We often think that joy and sorrow are so opposite they’re incompatible. Yet isn’t it possible for God to use sorrowful tears to water our roots and turn unpleasant circumstances into a nutrient-rich compost that helps the fruit of joy grow more quickly?

In my first marriage, I spent more time secretly crying than laughing because of abuse. When someone praying over me mentioned I had joy, I was absolutely shocked. I walked away thinking it must be buried somewhere deep inside, because I wasn’t experiencing it. I thought God had to change my circumstances in order for me to be joyful. I didn’t realize those words referred to Holy Spirit’s joy within me. I didn’t know He had been developing this fruit through those sorrowful times, and I could actually access it at any time.

God’s joy has incredible power to heal and transform. One reason I recently married Russ is he laughs easily and frequently—although I must admit I’m still getting used to some of his sources of humor. Laughter bubbles up in him so frequently that it’s easy to forget his early years were filled with too many experiences of neglect, hunger, poverty, fear and abandonment. God never intended any of his precious children to experience those types of tough circumstances, but we live in a fallen world that has not yet become heaven on earth. Perhaps Holy Spirit’s joyful fruit is one of God’s secret weapons to keep us afloat when we fall into the world’s sea of suffering.

Every believer has Holy Spirit’s character within, which means we get to cooperate with His efforts to build a forceful river of joy in each of us. That doesn’t mean we have to go through endless times of sorrow, but He does use those episodes for our good. More often, joy increases when we surrender more of our will to what His beautiful character and presence desires. As we respond yes to those invitations, our joy levels can change from a trickle to a flood. His joy even nourishes and replenishes the vitality of our souls and body like a spiritual vitamin.

One of the ways Holy Spirit uses joy in my life emerges when I’m reluctant to do something Godly—like apologize to Russ for being harsh and judgmental. Holy Spirit knows He can change my mind if He sends some type of ridiculous circumstance that gets me laughing. The next thing I know, giving an apology looks much easier and I am ready to do it with a light heart!

Another one of Holy Spirit’s strategies for changing my disposition is to remind me of lyrics I haven’t heard or thought of in years. Last week, Russ and I needed to tackle a serious financial issue. It’s typical for us to approach those conversations with very differing perspectives. We’re each convinced we are right, and we have mental briefcases full of arguments to prove it. In the past, our goal was to persuade the other into our way of thinking, which definitely hindered progress.

I’d been secretly pondering the most recent money issue for several weeks and felt the time had come to bring it up this week. A song came to mind, and I began singing Aretha Franklin’s lyrics aloud to Russ: “You make me feel like a natural woman.” Those words and melody changed the whole tenor of the financial conversation, generously inserting a large dose of joy and freedom. The results were radically fun and much more harmoniously aligned with heaven.

I’ve heard multiple testimonies from trusted people about emerging from years of depression after 20 minutes of Holy Spirit inspired intense laughter. It made no logical sense, but the evidence was undeniable. That’s more proof that sometimes earth’s utter nonsense can be a display of divine power.

Love, joy and peace are a triumphant trio. When all three show up in full living color, they overwhelm the drab and dismal places I thought were permanent parts of my personality. When I allow Holy Spirit to take over, He literally restores the Godlikeness of my soul!

Yes—God’s glory and solemnity can bring me instantly to my knees, but He also uses irresistible joy to inoculate my heart against heaviness. When the world’s worrisome and tragic ways want to be the only thing I feel, hear, see, smell and touch, Holy Spirit knows how to shift my thoughts and heart in a more life-giving direction. This is probably why Jesus encouraged us to return to the ways of childlikeness. Joy is part of our divine DNA and beckons us out of pits we think we deserve.

Like clean air’s fragrance after rain, joy invites us to get showered and refreshed. Why do we fear drinking deeply of its abiding effervescence? We won’t be the same dull people after we savor it. Joy has a way of seeping under our heart’s closed doors and transforming the atmosphere around and inside of us. 

Can we really fulfill Jesus’ commands without joy? I have found His joy helps me truly love (John 13:34-5), heal, deliver and save others (Mark 16:16-18). If Jesus was promised joy as the reward for going to the cross, can’t I access it as part of the abundant resurrection life He purchased for me? I now believe I can travel through sorrowful times with an aroma of joy that makes the world jealous and the devil miserable. It’s another one of the Kingdom’s upside-down ways, which Habakkuk 3: 17-19 NLT describes as something we have the opportunity to choose:

“Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the fine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains.”